40 Lessons at Forty

I don’t celebrate my birthday for religious reasons, but reaching 40 seems unreal ‎some how SubhanAllah, I have existed in the world for 40 years and it seems like a sweep and a whiff and a poof!!! Time flies and thinking back to these 40 years gets me nostalgic and the realization kicking in that I have arrived at a crucial milestone in my life ‎Alhamdulillah. 

I am looking at this day as a reminder of the 4 decades I have lived through life with its challenges, the unbelievable roller coaster rides, the failures, the successes, the tears, the laughter, the joy and sadnesses, the experiences and the lessons. Each valuable and treasured. 

It is a day filled with gratitude to my Rabb, my Creator, Allah سُبحَانَهُ وَتَعَالَىٰ, for every experience and every lesson He blessed me with, a day of gratitude to my parents for providing me with the roadmaps and pointing me towards the right direction always, a day of gratitude to my awesome husband who carries this wholesome love for me in his heart, and my beautiful children, because of whom I grew in my journey, found who I was, if not to be the best mom ever, at least to show up as a decent human being.

Allahumma Baarik Ameen! May Allah protect and preserve what I have and increase me in what it could be through gratitude, submission, and obedience to Him and Him alone Ameen Ya Rabb.

So here are my 40 lessons at Forty... 

1. Some of the best years of my life were as a kid. 

2. In hindsight, I see myself completely differently from what I saw myself as back then. Huge perspective shift ‎Alhamdulillah‎. 

3. There is so much beauty in valuing relationships. They are so important. 

4. There are tremendous blessings (barakah) in obedience to parents. I can’t even begin to list them down ‎Subhan Allah‎. 

5. A strong foundation of deen placed in childhood always bears fruit, even if you take detours in your life, you come back to it In Shaa Allah. Just need to trust and rely on Allah one hundred percent. 

6. The true worth and value of people are realized after they are gone. This is true. 

7. This realization teaches you to value what you have now. No words. 

8. There is something genuine and authentic about the simplicity of character. Believe me, simplicity is everything. 

9. The company you keep makes you or breaks you. So, so, so important. 

10. Hang on to the ones who remind you of Allah, don’t let them go. You may have misunderstandings but these people are your squad, hold them tight. 

11. A true friend is your cheerleader behind your back. I love my squad. 

12. A true friend makes du’aa for you without your knowledge. More love…♥️

13. A true friend does not judge you no matter how much you mess up. ♥️♥️♥️♥️

14. Your self-worth is not based on people’s perceptions and judgments. Huge insightful moment ‎Alhamdulillah, a game-changer in how I went about my life Alhamdulillah‎. 

15. Your intelligence is not based on your academic performance. Took me long enough to arrive at that SubhanAllah‎… 

16. There is nothing romantic about the love that’s projected in society. Psst! I grew up watching the twisted, pathetic Bollywood romances, you get the picture of where I was before, tsk! 

17. The idea of romantic love is nothing but your thought in-the-moment. 

18. The only true love is the love for Allah, it’s an act of worship, that’s what it is.  

19. When love is for the sake of Allah it becomes an act of worship, an act that’s done to please Allah. This love is inbuilt, the most natural thing in the world. 

20. Deep respect you have for another is more revered and valued. Respect is everything. 

21. Kindness and compassion are beautiful virtues that soften the heart. The big revelation for me here was that it includes kindness and compassion to myself. 

22. Generosity is the master key of abundance. What you give you get-it’s a law. 

23. I am living in the experience of my thought in-the-moment, moment to moment.

24. I am only a human, it’s okay if I slip, fail, fall, scrape, bruise, these are valuable life lessons, no one can teach. 

25. I am, truly, completely, allowed to be human. 

26. Perfection is a roadblock.

27. Motivation is overrated 

28. Wisdom is a treasure, an invaluable gift. 

29. Wisdom has taught me humility and freedom from judgment of myself and others.

30. Wisdom is freedom from my nafs. 

31. We are all the same in our collective human experience. 

32. I am not better than anyone else, no one is better than me,  who is better, who is not, is not for me to tell, it is for Allah to bring forth on the Day of Judgement. 

33. Self-care is not selfish, it is essential, and it is integrated into the knowing that Allah is taking care of me. 

34. I see others as humans; this lowers expectations, increases compassion, and frees you up from attachments and disappointments. 

35. Forgiveness is not a task, its logic. 

36. Insight through common sense is a blessing. 

37. Only Allah makes things easy. Is there anyone else who can? So, I always turn to Him, in every situation. 

38. Big realization-not everything that goes on in your head or happens in your life needs to be shared unless there is benefit in it. 

39. There is no limit to how deep insight can go, you can have the same insights over and over and keep going deeper in how you understand it ‎SubhanAllah‎. 

40. Happiness is not found on the outside, from the people who love you or whom you love, happiness comes as a byproduct of the trust and tawakkul in the Qadr of Allah. 

Seema Umm Rayyan, is a certified professional life coach, she focuses on spiritual connection and creative journaling in her coaching practice. She assists women and teen girls in their journey, exploring contentment, so they may discover a deeper connection with Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta’ala.


20 thoughts on “40 Lessons at Forty

    • Seema Umm Rayyan says:

      ‎جزاك اللهُ خيرا‬ for dropping by sis, those are my favorites too… ‎الحمد لله‎‬, and آمين يا رب to your du’aa :)<3

    • Seema Umm Rayyan says:

      اللهم آمين و إيّاك Zaina, ‎جزاك اللهُ خيرا‬ you are such a sweetheart… :*:*:* <3<3<3

  1. Maryam Baba Mohammed says:

    MashAllah MashAllah….. There is always a take home from U……. Wishing u many more wisdom and fruitful knowledge from Allah. ❤️

    • Seema Umm Rayyan says:

      ‎جزاك اللهُ خيرا‬ and اللهم آمين و إيّاك حبيبتيfor your beautiful du’aa…<3 <3 <3

      • Helen says:

        Mashallah! Tabarak Allah!
        Enjoyed the wonderful insight.
        I pondered on points 30, 31 and 33.
        It has been a reflection of my own journey.
        More power to your writing.
        Jazakkallahu khaiyr for sharing the valuable lessons..

        • Seema Umm Rayyan says:

          ‎الحمد لله‎ sis, ‎جزاك اللهُ خيرا‬ for dropping by and your valuable input as well… :*<3

    • Seema Umm Rayyan says:

      ‎جزاك اللهُ خيرا‬ for dropping in your thoughts Jesima, اللهم آمين و إيّاك to your du’aa… <3

  2. Zainab Dokrat says:

    These are beautiful lessons and I did only when I turned 25, and InshaAllah I know I’ll do one when I turn 30. It’s amazing how much we change, it’s only when we look back do we acknowledge how our perspectives, likes, dislikes, temperament, responsibilities, importance changes. These were lovely to read and really had me thinking. (www.spicyfusionkitchen.com)

    • Seema Umm Rayyan says:

      ‎جزاك اللهُ خيرا‬ for dropping by and sharing your valuable thoughts, ‎الحمد لله‎‬ it’s true sis, I find it important too to look back on every milestone of our journey and learn from those experiences and see how far we have come and how much farther we can go in our evolution ‎سبحان الله‎‬. 🙂

  3. Noora Al Lale says:

    Your post is full of wisdom! They do say with age comes wisdom, Allah knows best how true that is but what an amazing post on the reflections of your life. We always have something to learn and be grateful for alhamdulilah. Jazakil Allahu Khairan for sharing this, I look forward to doing this too. ?

    • Seema Umm Rayyan says:

      ‎الحمد لله‎‬ sis, ‎جزاك اللهُ خيرا‬ for your kind words… I don’t know how true that is either 😀 but I can say that wisdom comes from Allah and it is available to all of us, and our experiences evolve us if Allah wills that for us ‎إن شاء الله‬. بارك الله فيك.

  4. Yasmeen says:

    بارك الله فيك

    How many days did it take to pen it down? Thought provoking……May Allah Subhanawatala bless you more and make you grow in your set goals Aameen.

    • Seema Umm Rayyan says:

      ‎الحمد لله‎‬, ‎جزاك اللهُ خيرا‬, an hour or two excluding proofreading, formatting, and publishing. :)<3
      اللهم آمين و إيّاك.

  5. Fozia S says:

    I will soon be turning 40 too and have to agree with pretty much the whole list! Started nodding at point 1! The best years are as a child but we are in rush to grow up!

    • Seema Umm Rayyan says:

      So true we were in the rush to grow up, not knowing that we would be missing some of the best years of our life ‎سبحان الله‎‬.
      ‎الحمد لله‎‬, ‎جزاك اللهُ خيرا‬ for dropping by Fozia :)<3, and let's embrace the 40's and rock it ‎إن شاء الله‬. 😀

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