I don’t celebrate my birthday for religious reasons, but reaching 40 seems unreal some how SubhanAllah, I have existed in the world for 40 years and it seems like a sweep and a whiff and a poof!!! Time flies and thinking back to these 40 years gets me nostalgic and the realization kicking in that I have arrived at a crucial milestone in my life Alhamdulillah.
I am looking at this day as a reminder of the 4 decades I have lived through life with its challenges, the unbelievable roller coaster rides, the failures, the successes, the tears, the laughter, the joy and sadnesses, the experiences and the lessons. Each valuable and treasured.
It is a day filled with gratitude to my Rabb, my Creator, Allah سُبحَانَهُ وَتَعَالَىٰ, for every experience and every lesson He blessed me with, a day of gratitude to my parents for providing me with the roadmaps and pointing me towards the right direction always, a day of gratitude to my awesome husband who carries this wholesome love for me in his heart, and my beautiful children, because of whom I grew in my journey, found who I was, if not to be the best mom ever, at least to show up as a decent human being.
Allahumma Baarik Ameen! May Allah protect and preserve what I have and increase me in what it could be through gratitude, submission, and obedience to Him and Him alone Ameen Ya Rabb.
So here are my 40 lessons at Forty...
1. Some of the best years of my life were as a kid.
2. In hindsight, I see myself completely differently from what I saw myself as back then. Huge perspective shift Alhamdulillah.
3. There is so much beauty in valuing relationships. They are so important.
4. There are tremendous blessings (barakah) in obedience to parents. I can’t even begin to list them down Subhan Allah.
5. A strong foundation of deen placed in childhood always bears fruit, even if you take detours in your life, you come back to it In Shaa Allah. Just need to trust and rely on Allah one hundred percent.
6. The true worth and value of people are realized after they are gone. This is true.
7. This realization teaches you to value what you have now. No words.
8. There is something genuine and authentic about the simplicity of character. Believe me, simplicity is everything.
9. The company you keep makes you or breaks you. So, so, so important.
10. Hang on to the ones who remind you of Allah, don’t let them go. You may have misunderstandings but these people are your squad, hold them tight.
11. A true friend is your cheerleader behind your back. I love my squad.
12. A true friend makes du’aa for you without your knowledge. More love…♥️
13. A true friend does not judge you no matter how much you mess up. ♥️♥️♥️♥️
14. Your self-worth is not based on people’s perceptions and judgments. Huge insightful moment Alhamdulillah, a game-changer in how I went about my life Alhamdulillah.
15. Your intelligence is not based on your academic performance. Took me long enough to arrive at that SubhanAllah…
16. There is nothing romantic about the love that’s projected in society. Psst! I grew up watching the twisted, pathetic Bollywood romances, you get the picture of where I was before, tsk!
17. The idea of romantic love is nothing but your thought in-the-moment.
18. The only true love is the love for Allah, it’s an act of worship, that’s what it is.
19. When love is for the sake of Allah it becomes an act of worship, an act that’s done to please Allah. This love is inbuilt, the most natural thing in the world.
20. Deep respect you have for another is more revered and valued. Respect is everything.
21. Kindness and compassion are beautiful virtues that soften the heart. The big revelation for me here was that it includes kindness and compassion to myself.
22. Generosity is the master key of abundance. What you give you get-it’s a law.
23. I am living in the experience of my thought in-the-moment, moment to moment.
24. I am only a human, it’s okay if I slip, fail, fall, scrape, bruise, these are valuable life lessons, no one can teach.
25. I am, truly, completely, allowed to be human.
26. Perfection is a roadblock.
27. Motivation is overrated
28. Wisdom is a treasure, an invaluable gift.
29. Wisdom has taught me humility and freedom from judgment of myself and others.
30. Wisdom is freedom from my nafs.
31. We are all the same in our collective human experience.
32. I am not better than anyone else, no one is better than me, who is better, who is not, is not for me to tell, it is for Allah to bring forth on the Day of Judgement.
33. Self-care is not selfish, it is essential, and it is integrated into the knowing that Allah is taking care of me.
34. I see others as humans; this lowers expectations, increases compassion, and frees you up from attachments and disappointments.
35. Forgiveness is not a task, its logic.
36. Insight through common sense is a blessing.
37. Only Allah makes things easy. Is there anyone else who can? So, I always turn to Him, in every situation.
38. Big realization-not everything that goes on in your head or happens in your life needs to be shared unless there is benefit in it.
39. There is no limit to how deep insight can go, you can have the same insights over and over and keep going deeper in how you understand it SubhanAllah.
40. Happiness is not found on the outside, from the people who love you or whom you love, happiness comes as a byproduct of the trust and tawakkul in the Qadr of Allah.
Seema Umm Rayyan, is a certified professional life coach, she focuses on spiritual connection and creative journaling in her coaching practice. She assists women and teen girls in their journey, exploring contentment, so they may discover a deeper connection with Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta’ala.